Help

Any LDS bloggers who may read this blog...I need your help. Please, if you will, share with me why you believe our church is the true church. I realize with conference 2 weeks behind us I should be on a spiritual high right now... Please just give me something...anything...something that will make me remember or realize...make me go "ahh ha, what was I thinking to doubt it?". And please do not judge me...I'm not at a good place right now.

WEAK

I am seriously sucking at this diet! I have yet to workout let alone walk a mile every day. I'm so weak when it comes to diets...If I told you all I've eaten today is a bowl of cheerios at 6:45 this morning, carrot and celery sticks at lunch and more carrot and celery sticks for snack just now you might think I'm not doing so horribly. ...The carrot and celery sticks were covered in peanut butter. LOTS and LOTS of peanut butter. NOT GOOD! But even with the peanut butter I'm doing better today than I have all week. Tomorrow's a new day and I just won't add the peanut butter!! It's so good though!! The really sad thing is that I have a slight reaction when I eat peanut butter. My lips get itchy and really sore...so you'd think I wouldn't eat it...you'd think.

3 strikes you're out?

Last night Alex tripped while going up the stairs to bed. I didn't see it happen but she must have face planted into the stairs because she ended up having a bloody nose and a fat lip. Strike 1!
Now tonight she was walking in the living room and just face planted into the floor. No bloody nose this time but she bled from the mouth and made her fat lip come back! I was holding Ryleigh and had to lay her down so I asked Alex to go into the bathroom. Her hands were all bloody from holding her mouth so the light switch, wall and sink were all covered with blood. Not being dramatic...there was lots of blood! It was really gross! I don't know if you can really see it in the pictures I'm posting but she also has like rug burn on her chin. Poor girl! Strike 2!
If there is a strike 3 (keep your fingers crossed there isn't) I'm sure it will end up with her knocking herself out!

Here We Go...

"It took 9 months to put it on...It'll take 9 months to take it off"...so says my doctor about my pregnancy weight gain. I'm out to prove him wrong! It started falling off nicely while I was breastfeeding but then when I quit I put a little back on and now I'm just kinda stuck. I gained 30 lbs with this last pregnancy and still have 10 of it to lose...but LOTS of firming up to do!! :) I don't want to do any hardcore workouts yet as I'm not supposed to do anything for 6 weeks and it's only been 3. I am however going to walk at least 1 mile everyday and do my "easy" workout video and be careful of what I am eating. I did part of a workout video last week (until I was interrupted by Ryleigh!) and just wanted to roll over and die! It sucks being SO out of shape! But I'm sure it'll get easier as I go as long as I stick with it! My goal is to have it all gone and be back into all my old clothes by Christmas. I would say Thanksgiving but I get the feeling that won't be long enough for Miss Inconsistent over here!
WISH ME LUCK!!

Not that i'm a huge fan of getting struck by lightening but I have to say that somedays I think its obvious I was created by a MALE. At least that's how i've been feeling since I had Ryleigh...child number 3. We aren't going to get into the "poor me, why do I have to be female and have to have a period and hormones blah blah blah"...although I do wonder that once in a while! I am wondering why God only gave me 2 arms. Yah, that worked when I had 2 kids!! I could manage 2 kids and cooking and housework etc with 2 arms...now that we have 3 kids those things aren't as manageable. So this is what i'm thinking...If I were to make a woman...haha...I'd make it where if/when needed she could pop out extra arms! Take me for instance, the breastfeeding didn't work out this time around so I don't need boobs for anything...what a perfect place for an extra set of arms!! Imagine the advantages of that! I could get so much more done!! Ok, so it might freak Andy out a little bit but I would bet meals would be on time, the house clean, kids under control and Ryleigh content! Hey, if we are able to grow a human inside of us for 9 whole months we should be able to grow an extra set of arms from time to time!!
Haha I'm such a dork!!

Just a Picture Post

So frustrating...

Having 3 kids is a lot harder than I had thought it would be. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE having all 3 of them and feel so incredibly blessed. Ryleigh has just not been a happy baby. She sleeps ALL the time...I know that's usual for newborns but she does it more than normal. When she's awake she's eating and I'm unbelievably sore because she's not latching on right and before she's full she falls asleep. If she is awake and not eating she's crying all the time. She just hasn't been very content. Nights have been a nightmare as she is waking up wanting to eat and I'm so so tired and it hurts so bad that I can hardly feed her laying down. Yesterday I got what I thought was a blocked milk duct so I'm even more sore. Oh my goodness is the pain unreal. I never once cried because of the pain of my c-section but last night that's all I could do is cry. I took two hot showers, put hot wet towels on...and went to bed early. I think I had a fever because I was so freezing cold and could not warm up but then woke up really hot and my whole body was wet from sweating. Part of my crying all night was due to the fact that Andy went out and bought formula and bottles and we got her started on that. That's right...I'm giving up the breast feeding. I feel like a woman who has had her breasts cut off...I seriously mourned the fact that I am unable to continue breast feeding. It was such a beautiful experience with Alex and I really loved the bonding we had. Me and Ryleigh just aren't working out together. And I would continue to cry and be sad about it except that I've seen how much better she already is today. She gulped down two bottles last night so that tells me she was hungry so maybe I was kind of starving her?? She slept in her bassinet all night with only one bottle at 3 AM...before she was up all night and had to sleep with us. And now today she has been awake so much more and really content. She just sits and looks around and isn't crying. Its amazing. She's a completely different baby today than she was yesterday. Luckily she had her 2 week check up today. I say luckily but its not really all that lucky. Her doctor looked at my boob that hurts so bad and said its not a blocked milk duct but rather Mastitis?? A breast infection. So now I'm taking something to take care of that and she said if I were to not take it I would end up having puss come out of my nipples. How insane is that? However the lucky but unlucky news is that she took Ryleigh's diaper off that Andy had seriously JUST changed due to poopy pants and we discovered she had pooped AGAIN. All of a sudden she asks very concerned if Ryleigh has had blood in her stool for a while. ??? WHAT??? We had never noticed it before so she took her diaper to lab and sure enough it really is blood. So she is thinking Ryleigh has a milk allergy. So is that an allergy to the formula she's been on less than 24 hours?? She gave us some other formula's to try and hopefully they work. I just don't understand why she is so content if she all of a sudden has an allergy. She said blood in a baby's stool is alarming and is never a good thing so if that's the only sign she's going to give us that she has an allergy than I'll take it. I just would think she'd be fussy??
Anyway...I hope we can get this all figured out. It's really overwhelming and emotionally draining. I'm glad its almost the weekend and Andy will be able to be home. That will be nice.