Friday, October 3, 2008

So frustrating...

Having 3 kids is a lot harder than I had thought it would be. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE having all 3 of them and feel so incredibly blessed. Ryleigh has just not been a happy baby. She sleeps ALL the time...I know that's usual for newborns but she does it more than normal. When she's awake she's eating and I'm unbelievably sore because she's not latching on right and before she's full she falls asleep. If she is awake and not eating she's crying all the time. She just hasn't been very content. Nights have been a nightmare as she is waking up wanting to eat and I'm so so tired and it hurts so bad that I can hardly feed her laying down. Yesterday I got what I thought was a blocked milk duct so I'm even more sore. Oh my goodness is the pain unreal. I never once cried because of the pain of my c-section but last night that's all I could do is cry. I took two hot showers, put hot wet towels on...and went to bed early. I think I had a fever because I was so freezing cold and could not warm up but then woke up really hot and my whole body was wet from sweating. Part of my crying all night was due to the fact that Andy went out and bought formula and bottles and we got her started on that. That's right...I'm giving up the breast feeding. I feel like a woman who has had her breasts cut off...I seriously mourned the fact that I am unable to continue breast feeding. It was such a beautiful experience with Alex and I really loved the bonding we had. Me and Ryleigh just aren't working out together. And I would continue to cry and be sad about it except that I've seen how much better she already is today. She gulped down two bottles last night so that tells me she was hungry so maybe I was kind of starving her?? She slept in her bassinet all night with only one bottle at 3 AM...before she was up all night and had to sleep with us. And now today she has been awake so much more and really content. She just sits and looks around and isn't crying. Its amazing. She's a completely different baby today than she was yesterday. Luckily she had her 2 week check up today. I say luckily but its not really all that lucky. Her doctor looked at my boob that hurts so bad and said its not a blocked milk duct but rather Mastitis?? A breast infection. So now I'm taking something to take care of that and she said if I were to not take it I would end up having puss come out of my nipples. How insane is that? However the lucky but unlucky news is that she took Ryleigh's diaper off that Andy had seriously JUST changed due to poopy pants and we discovered she had pooped AGAIN. All of a sudden she asks very concerned if Ryleigh has had blood in her stool for a while. ??? WHAT??? We had never noticed it before so she took her diaper to lab and sure enough it really is blood. So she is thinking Ryleigh has a milk allergy. So is that an allergy to the formula she's been on less than 24 hours?? She gave us some other formula's to try and hopefully they work. I just don't understand why she is so content if she all of a sudden has an allergy. She said blood in a baby's stool is alarming and is never a good thing so if that's the only sign she's going to give us that she has an allergy than I'll take it. I just would think she'd be fussy??
Anyway...I hope we can get this all figured out. It's really overwhelming and emotionally draining. I'm glad its almost the weekend and Andy will be able to be home. That will be nice.

1 comment:

JJ said...

Oh Anna, I am so sorry that is all happening to you guys. Little babies are a mystery sometimes, but you will figure it out. They have lots of different kinds of formula out there, and I have heard abvout women who have had mastitis(however you spell it), and they were, hang in there. It'll be ok, I wish I could be there to help you though. Love you all, give everyone hugs from us!